Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??
Husband: I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
Q - What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... and the other ensures you continue to do so.
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, Ilook at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What otherproblem can there be greater than this one?"
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?""Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU the FORTUNE"
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married
Millionaire: "Billionaire"
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. Hahahahaha
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.
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